AUTO STORE

Our smokin' hot fuchsia (think "raspberry sorbet") American Apparel racerback tanks are 100% rib cotton, combed for softness and comfort. Automatic Win logo printed in black across the front, drawing attention to your fantastic rack (or your manly pecs) (or your endearing androgyny). These babies usually shrink a little bit in the wash, so we recommend ordering a size larger than you'd normally wear. We're not calling you fat, just practical.

Available in S, M, L, and XL.
$18 USD + S/H

"Really Papi Really?" is the new "WTF?!" and everybody's doing it. You know who else is doing it, probs? Papi. Express your feelings about Papi banging your roomie right after doin' it with you by sporting one of these ultra-comfy kelly green poly cotton t-shirts. They've got a slightly scooped neckline with a baby rib cotton stretchable collar for increased comfort and durability. Also, they're kinda see-through, so your girlfriend('s rack) will look cute in one.

Available in S, M, L and XL.
$18 USD + S/H

This could be your signature move, fo' reals. When she asks, "What's this you're doing?" you can just turn around and point to your ass, where "Auto-Straddle" will be printed in black-on-gold (with white trim). These 100% cotton American Apparel briefs are unisex, so we recommend that ladies order a size smaller than you typically would (also because your ass is SO not fat). Unless you're transitioning, in which case, we support you, get an XL, just to be sure, might as well go for the gold -- which happens to be the color of these briefs. See that? What I did there? That's what I do.

Available in XS, S, M, L and XL.
$15 USD + S/H

Tag your neighborhood, your favorite bathroom makeout spot, your car, your parents' car, your guitar amp, your Trapper Keeper, your baby, your baby's other mama ... whatevs! ... with these one-sided heavy duty weatherproof vinyl Auto Straddle stickers. The Auto Straddle logo is in black across a yellow 3.5" x 4.5" backdrop. Spread the word of the Auto Empire and damn the man! Holla!

One size fits all, ovs.
$1 USD + S/H (or free with any order)

You've got a lot of feelings and a lot of body parts. Well: we've got a lot of ideas about how to address your issues and cover your body parts, and to be honest, they might just make your head explode. Hoodies for critters, sweatpants for agoraphobes, totesbags for people who don't think the word "totes" has any real practical application, and additional t-shirts, boyshorts and tank designs for the whole family. Stay tuned as we continue to prove our fingers-on-the-pulse-of-our-generation-osity skills and roll out more merch. Suggestions? There's a blog just waiting for comment number 50, and staying on topic has never been a top priority, obvs.